All I want for Christmas is a housekeeper

What do you want for Christmas? Do you have visions of kitchen gadgets and sparkling new dishes? Do you long for cozy sweaters and Uggs? Or are you like me, you just want a housekeeper?

It’s amazing what a clean house will do for my mental state. Piles of freshly folded laundry, the smell of Bounce wafting through a clean kitchen. Even the smell of Tilex in the shower gets my motor running. I realize I am weird. I never have been a normal person. Why start now?

It’s a random Thursday and I feel like sharing a random 10-year-old picture with you. I just want you to appreciate how fat my face is. If I smiled any harder, my eyes would be closed. Take heed, my friends. This is what 9 months of cheeseburgers will do to you.

And if Lynn’s size is any clue, I wasn’t leaving any cheeseburgers for him.

Have a happy day! I wish you efficient housekeepers and fat-free cheeseburgers!