All I want for Christmas is a housekeeper

What do you want for Christmas? Do you have visions of kitchen gadgets and sparkling new dishes? Do you long for cozy sweaters and Uggs? Or are you like me, you just want a housekeeper?

It’s amazing what a clean house will do for my mental state. Piles of freshly folded laundry, the smell of Bounce wafting through a clean kitchen. Even the smell of Tilex in the shower gets my motor running. I realize I am weird. I never have been a normal person. Why start now?

It’s a random Thursday and I feel like sharing a random 10-year-old picture with you. I just want you to appreciate how fat my face is. If I smiled any harder, my eyes would be closed. Take heed, my friends. This is what 9 months of cheeseburgers will do to you.

And if Lynn’s size is any clue, I wasn’t leaving any cheeseburgers for him.

Have a happy day! I wish you efficient housekeepers and fat-free cheeseburgers!



2 Replies to “All I want for Christmas is a housekeeper”

  1. I’m so proud of you! It’s not by accident we shared the same last name. I too thought I needed a housekeeper…in 1977, give or take a year. I was trying to write a clinical-related article for a Nursing journal. A full-time position (too much to call it a job) in nursing was already more than I wanted, working evening shift for the upteenth year in a row…the opposite shift my husband was working (he was active duty Air Force at that time, stationed in Montana). Dirty dishes were piling up in the kitchen, and the carpet hadn’t been vacuumed for almost 2 weeks. Keep in mind, I’m-a-nurse-and-I-LOVE-clean. LOVE CLEAN. So I interviewed several female people and chose one. I now know I made a hiring mistake. A teenager…she seemed responsible, smart, and honest. She may have been satisfactory as a babysitter–NOT as a housekeeper. Being a little compulsive about my home and cleanliness, I followed her around for a few tasks. She did okay on the dishes. As she prepared to vacuum, starting in the master bedroom, she plopped the wastebasket on top of my beautiful silk (or was it satin?) comforter–on the bed. That was the first and last day she worked for me. I haven’t had the courage to hire a housekeeper since. If I ever do again, I’ll be sure to pray before I make my selection. And I will interview only mature women. I’m requesting jewelry…perhaps with a ruby or two, for Christmas. Or maybe a new watch. Our 40th anniversary is next year. And I’m willing to clean my own home.


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