You know the expression, “When it rains it pours?” Why is that? When it’s raining good things, it’s coming faster than you can receive it. When it’s raining bad things… well, Katie bar the door. It just sucks. No two ways about it.
There’s nothing I love more than a good thunderstorm; a deep, earth-drenching rain. I love the heavy, humid air that lingers behind the storm. It’s a time where you can see the tail end of the storm moving away, and the black sky being replaced with glorious light. The grass looks greener, the dirt looks blacker, and you can see for miles again.
That’s how I feel when I look back after my own storms have passed, and I see how the hand of God has been on me the whole time. That’s when I realize what could have happened, but didn’t. That’s when I exchange my feelings of, “Where are you, God,” for “Oh, you’ve been right here with me, you never left,” and I cry with thankfulness at God’s mercy.
Why don’t we live in that peaceful and wonderful feeling? Why don’t we trust God like that all the time? Why do we choose to live in fear, anxiety, frustration, and depression? I wish I knew. It’s something else to add to my long list of questions I will ask God someday.
I imagine He will tell me that my sin-nature, my unrenewed mind, my worldly flesh has something to do with it. And He would be right. And I will apologize for being such a slow learner. And I believe He will fold me up into His arms and tell me that He loves me, and that even though I stumbled and fell during my earthly stay, my heart never turned from Him, and He is proud of me. At least, that’s what I really hope He says.